Maximizing Your Marriage: Love & Respect

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Eph 5:33 NASB

This one verse when applied by a husband & a wife can cause a marriage to move more and more into the Blessed State which God intended. Notice the man is commanded to love his wife and how he is to do so. He must first have a healthy love for himself, which comes from an accurate embrace of the Love of God for him. The wife is commanded to respect her husband. The Father knew that invested in the woman absent the influence of the Holy Spirit is the tendency to not respect her husband. Once she loses this respect or chooses not to respect him, all manner of trouble can occur. The bottom line is this – both the husband & the wife must be responsible for the success of their marriage. His contribution is love & hers is respect. The Father commanded it because He knew we would not do this on our own. Examine yourself!

Meeting One Another’s Needs – Maximized Marriages

I believe that one of the critical keys to having a Maximized Marriage is knowing and meeting one another’s needs on a consistent basis. Many marriages suffer and are less than what they could be due to an ignorance of the needs a spouse has and a willingness to meet those needs regularly. Along with that, knowing when to meet those needs and how to meet them according to your spouses preferences is also vital. So, where do we begin? In sincerity, ask the question – “What do you need from me?” Don’t do so out of selfish or ulterior motivations, such as I will meet yours as long as you meet mine. No, love your spouse enough to meet their needs even though they may not be fully meeting all of yours. Its the Principle of Reciprocity. Sooner or later, you’re going to reap what you have sown! There is a great book entitled, His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair Proof Marriage that could be used as a resource and a starting point for this discussion with your spouse. In that book, the author, Wiilard F. Harley, list “His Needs and Her Needs” as follows. Yours may be different but at least this opens the door to discuss how you can begin to meet the needs of your spouse and develop a Maximized Marriage!

His Needs: What a Man Needs from His Wife
1. Sexual Fulfillment

2. Recreational Companionship

3. An Attractive Spouse

4. Domestic Support

5. Admiration

Her Needs: What a Woman Needs from Her Husband
1. Affection

2. Conversation

3. Honesty and Openness

4. Financial Commitment

5. Family Commitment

Until Next Time, Stay On Target!

26 Practical Principles for Dating Your Spouse

After 26 years of Holy Matrimony, our love for one another continues to grow and remains extremely fresh! One of the keys to our God-given success is continuing to “date” one another although we are very, happily married. Many have asked for our personal views on “Dating Your Spouse” and so as a part of our 26 year celebration, we present this list as a gift to them!

1 – Plan It

2 – Be Creative

3 – Fight for it

4 – Do what works for you

5 – Plan for purposeful conversation

6 – No technology  (at least while you are on the date)

7 – Flirt strategically

8 – Make it different

9 – Bring the laughter

10 – Remember: Dating is a process not an event

11 – Enjoy every moment

12 – Compliment one another

13 – Make this time about connecting deeply

14 – Don’t wait until the actual moment, connect with one another throughout the day

15 – Be intentional no matter the venue for the date

16 – Engage in LDA (Loving Displays of Affection)

17 – Take great pleasure in serving one another

18 – Don’t sweat the small stuff! Life is too short.

19 – Allow your love for one another to be an example for others.

20 – Save room for dessert.

21 – Close out the date in a memorable way! Don’t merely let it end!

5 tips for those in ministry

22 – Develop your marital/family calendar before your ministry calendar is set

23 – Set annual vacation for the two of you

24 – Set a quarterly weekend getaway

25 – Set a monthly overnight excursion

26 – Set a weekly date time

Now, get to Dating!